Thangjam Sanjoo Singh
If one BETI is born good looking, that BETI should consider oneself to be fortunate. To be born beautiful one BETI should not, on account of that beautifulness develop arrogance or conceit. It will only make such a BETI repulsive to others. Not only will that conceit work against a BETI’s appearance, but more importantly, it will be an obstacle to one’s spiritual progress and happiness.
Advertisement play a key role in influencing our concept of beauty. Beauty is how we see it, as the saying goes – ‘beauty is in the eyes of the beholder’. Aggressive promotional tactics are used to shape people’s expectations as well as revolutionize accepted levels of style, quality and glamour. Over time they have managed to develop these unrealistic expectations to such a degree that make conceited women the world over demand beauty as a basic human right. And the so called beauty which many people seek are external rather than internal. External good looks are what they look for when selecting friends or when choosing a life partner.
Because of the high premium being placed on good looks, people try various methods to achieve this desirable state. It could mean going for aerobics, an intensive slimming course, and a face lift, wearing fashioning clothes, a new hairdo, or makeup. Usually, ladies tend to be very conscious and particular about their weight when they discovered that they put on extra weight.
The womenfolk in modern society spend a good part of their income on expensive clothes and cosmetics. Their choice of what to buy is heavily influenced and dictated by the expensive promotional gimmicks adopted by fashion houses and cosmetic companies.
It is indeed surprising how profoundly women are interested in clothes. For example, if a man and woman meet another man or woman on the street, the woman seldom looks at the man: she usually tends to looks to see how well the other women is dressed.
Despite all their seriousness in the search of beauty, people have forgotten to use a source everyone is endowed with the nature but often used. They miss out natural resource of beauty. Maybe this source has been overlooked because present day cosmetics provide a convenient substitute to give an instant thought false conception. In this age of fast foods and all sorts of ‘instant this’ and ‘instant that’ many women resort to instant beauty aids and cosmetics which are readily available in the market. Now coming back to our natural source of beauty, we like to ask: What can this source of beauty be? None other than kindness, love, simplicity and beauty of the heart. Of all the cosmetics available, the best is loving kindness. It is natural, inexpensive and always effective. The one who has this quality looks beautiful even without having to worry about is applied on the face or done to the hair.
Even if one is born with plain looks, one can look radiant and attractive, if virtue of love, kindness, and patience are cultivated. These virtues will rise to an internal charm that will radiant outwards, making the person irresistible. Many people will be attracted to her because of that special charm as beauty which fades like a flower, this internal beauty has an aura of charm which can often become more intense in its glow the mature the person becomes.
On the other hand, even if a woman is born beautiful with stunning features, many people will turned away from such a person if she is jealous, selfish, and cunning and conceited. But if woman is overflowing with loving-kindness, speaks gently and politely, she will far more attractive than the so-called beautiful woman who is conceited and full of pride. A beautiful complexion can attract attention, but for how long? There is no complexion remain beautiful especially if a woman’s mind is corrupted. External beauty will fade like all things must. The saying that ‘beauty is but skin deep’ is indeed very true. But the beauty of loving kindness remains, and is appreciated by all alike.
The world is like a mirror. If we look at the mirror with a smiling face, we will see a face smiling back at us. But if we look at it with a frown or a face of anger, we will also see the same ugly face reflected back. In the same way, if we were to act with kindness and sympathy, the same good qualities will be returned to us. And we perform noble virtues which arise in the heart, they will be translated into good speech and good deeds which are apparent to all.
(The writer is lay Buddhist and Human Rights Activist of People Who Use Drugs, PUDS)
Thangjam Sanjoo Singh