Hegin Misao Hangmi
(Contd from previous issue)
5. Love Affairs/ Dating
Teenagers are known for their short-lived crushes and are often labelled “boy crazy or girl crazy” by their parents. Most of the teens will have long or endless phone conversations with their friends. They start discussing a new romantic interest, try to get the attention of that person, and then have a friend to check to see if the plan has worked. They deliver their messages through peers rather than being delivered directly.
Most often, a boy-girl pair become a couple to the world of their peers, and proclaim that they are in love. According to Dr. Judi Craig, “these couplings typically last a few weeks or months with young teens. In older teens, relationship may last much longer, and the couple may even begin to talk seriously about a future together.”
It is important for parents to understand that teens love is a great value not to be disregarded. The teenager’s feelings are usually very genuine and deep. From parents perspective this relationship might be seen as immature. Parents can damage good relationship with a teen by making light of the intensity of their teens feelings of romantic love.
Parents are encouraged to discuss with their teens who they will date, the activities they will engage in, and the hours they will keep. Parents might even offer some suggestions for activities.
Also, one of the most important things parents can do about their teens dating is to know who their teen’s friends are. Show interest in their friends, even if they are not worthy to be approved about them.
Parents are to have faith in their child to make the right decisions and live with the consequences. At the same time teach a lesson about how to make decisions.
Since there is no hard and fast rule about when a teen is old enough to date, the emphasis should be on the teen’s decision making.
Dr. Foster Cline says, “A teen is ready when he or she can describe a plan for handling the situations that concern the parent.”
The writer is a Biblical Counselor (Email:
[email protected])