The prism of relationships

Dr Sumedha Kushwaha
We have come alone and we will go alone. This is the only truth of life. No matter how beautiful your wife is, how compassionate your parents are, how cute your children are - the sole fact of life remains that our existence is complete in itself. We do not have to be with someone to complete ourselves. So why do we look for companionship? Why are we seeking that perfect love in our life? Why in the presence of someone we are so comfortable that we act and react in ways beyond our own comprehension? Love is seeking colors in our life. That is why we come on earth as unpainted coloring books and each person, each situation and experience adds a shade, hue and vibrancy to it. But just like the prism- there is a singular light on the other end –white- which means no matter who comes and goes, whatever happens – you have to stay alone.
This piece might sound sad, but it is not. It’s a fact that we can enjoy someone’s company so much, but can we own anyone? No. We can love someone so much, but can that determine how they react towards us? No. We own only ourselves. Which makes us realize the fact that life is going to throw many balls at you- big, small, bouncy and slow- there are some you can catch, some you can opt to leave, some you can kick and hit hard and some will hit you too. And when we get hit, we understand better the importance of choosing our battles.
When success touches you close, we aim higher and forget the ground where we took off from. It’s a natural process. And when defeat touches us- we understand that ground is the same platform from where we took off. It doesn’t take time to adjust with success but it takes time to adapt with defeat. And the adaptation changes you from inside. It might instill fear in some people that they can never fly again, for others it would be an impulse to work harder. But we as humans have glorified success so much that we have stopped realizing the purpose of setbacks. The setbacks teach you to outgrow yourself. The problems help us go into the chambers of our mind faculties that were unutilized for long.
Love helps us cope with both success and defeat. Where on one hand during our good times companionship acts like gravity; in our bad times it acts as a propeller. But when we are flying high we are bound to get better comrades and innumerable people to associate with but sadly no one touches the heart. You meet on a superficial level because nobody wants to know the real you, everyone wants a version of you as per their convenience. The dichotomy grows so bad in you that it is difficult to bridge gaps in your own personality of who you are and how you act. And because you are seemingly close to everyone but connected with no one- you lose track of your own sound.  In contrast, when we are low, we might have just a few people but the ones who stay own our hearts forever. That’s how having a few people who love you is better than an overly hyped fan following.
 Choose your circle wisely because it determines how you act, react, respond, behave and when repeatedly we follow such patterns it becomes a habit or paradigm that determines what we achieve in life. And this inner circle of your life represents you. So, stay connected because no matter who and what- you should determine the course of your life and do not give that authority to anyone who can stray you in any direction they want.