The other younger version in you
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Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam
Here lives a boy in me, inside my soul. He wakes up and talks to me at times. I work for this boy. Death matures only when this boy thinks ‘enough’ is reached. Everyone talks to themselves, people call it introspection but I call it, “the boy.” Depression was never a thing, ignored and less talked about by many, but today – I won’t bring some mental health advice and quotes, but I will narrate the story of what happens to ‘the boy’ when this storm hits.
Some of those who have gone through a serious depression or who are going through right now, let me touch ‘the boy’ in you today. I know the morning light that brought a smile to you once must never be the same now. The late dinner that makes you sleep right after must now be holding you up at night. Ever thought of how many different ways there are to die ? I know you have. Once you were afraid of failing but now you are closing yourself to just basic survival needs, you stop responding to social growth, everything that matters to you stops at times. Sometimes you stop counting days. This happens when you stop talking to ‘the boy.’
If you have been in those shoes, trust me I am your best man coz I was right there – like you. “The boy,” this sounds funny, this is not a proven science or an accepted logic but experienced by most. ‘The boy,’ also known as the soul, believed as the ‘information from the past life,’ by many believers. I won’t put it hard on what happens in the past life and all that because I best not believe much on that but, for the existence of ‘the boy,’ I bet ‘YES.’ Also call the ‘devil in you,’ all your life, you will do nothing but please ‘the boy.’ The moment you don’t please him, guilt and regrets will garland and cocoon you to the womb of minimalism – just surviving and questioning your existence. Every morning you have seen the same person in the mirror, sometimes you like it and sometimes not, therefore you are not what you see in the mirror but the boy. You feel what he wishes. He is bound by temptation and curiosity, that is the reason why he is called ‘the boy.’ You have to keep taming him by keeping him in the limits. You speak inside, when you force the boy to not do drugs, you even speak out loud to not smoke. Do you want to know the best thing about ‘the boy?’ He is scared of death, scared enough to forget that death is a happening phenomenon. The only way to keep ‘the boy’ in your best side is to keep reminding him that every-day is not just a new day. Once that innocent soul gets under your will, once the boy keeps to his conscience that he is a departing soul in your rented body, that fear will make this life the best. And to make this happen, you have to start looking at the calendar and start counting how many days are left with you. I know experts say, ‘live like today is the last day,’ but trust me, ‘the boy’ never likes to be fooled.
To all those reading this article, start talking more to ‘the boy.’ To me depression happens when you stop talking to ‘the boy,’ when you are numbed to all the happenings, when you enclose yourself to just moving with time. This can be the solution to all problems, scaring the innocence of the boy by chaining him with the reality of his presence in a dying human tissue. This is nothing religious but something I believe. I have lost hours talking to him, sometimes it gives answers beyond my experience and common sense. Saying so, I know you have something you want in your life, everything that’s stopping you will stand nothing when you are under the full command of the boy.
We are born complex, going by instinct is not the best command of the boy. But you best believe that as long as you talk to that person in you, you keep watering your inner growth. I know today’s article must be a little here and there but trust me I feel the same too. The voice of the boy is very soft at times, listen to it carefully, it speaks with no lies and filters. If you want to be the best doctor in the world, the boy will speak out for you. If all the external voices from your friends trying to water you with insecurity grows, remember the mantra, “Scare the boy, he is the strongest.” For example, I know how fast you run from your washroom after turning off the lights.
You are a born mystery, born complex, explore it, stop walling yourself and stop making a statue of yourself with the stones thrown by your haters.
Here lives a boy in me, inside my soul. He wakes up and talks to me at times. I work for this boy. Death matures only when this boy thinks ‘enough’ is reached. Everyone talks to themselves, people call it introspection but I call it, “the boy.” Depression was never a thing, ignored and less talked about by many, but today – I won’t bring some mental health advice and quotes, but I will narrate the story of what happens to ‘the boy’ when this storm hits.
Some of those who have gone through a serious depression or who are going through right now, let me touch ‘the boy’ in you today. I know the morning light that brought a smile to you once must never be the same now. The late dinner that makes you sleep right after must now be holding you up at night. Ever thought of how many different ways there are to die ? I know you have. Once you were afraid of failing but now you are closing yourself to just basic survival needs, you stop responding to social growth, everything that matters to you stops at times. Sometimes you stop counting days. This happens when you stop talking to ‘the boy.’
If you have been in those shoes, trust me I am your best man coz I was right there – like you. “The boy,” this sounds funny, this is not a proven science or an accepted logic but experienced by most. ‘The boy,’ also known as the soul, believed as the ‘information from the past life,’ by many believers. I won’t put it hard on what happens in the past life and all that because I best not believe much on that but, for the existence of ‘the boy,’ I bet ‘YES.’ Also call the ‘devil in you,’ all your life, you will do nothing but please ‘the boy.’ The moment you don’t please him, guilt and regrets will garland and cocoon you to the womb of minimalism – just surviving and questioning your existence. Every morning you have seen the same person in the mirror, sometimes you like it and sometimes not, therefore you are not what you see in the mirror but the boy. You feel what he wishes. He is bound by temptation and curiosity, that is the reason why he is called ‘the boy.’ You have to keep taming him by keeping him in the limits. You speak inside, when you force the boy to not do drugs, you even speak out loud to not smoke. Do you want to know the best thing about ‘the boy?’ He is scared of death, scared enough to forget that death is a happening phenomenon. The only way to keep ‘the boy’ in your best side is to keep reminding him that every-day is not just a new day. Once that innocent soul gets under your will, once the boy keeps to his conscience that he is a departing soul in your rented body, that fear will make this life the best. And to make this happen, you have to start looking at the calendar and start counting how many days are left with you. I know experts say, ‘live like today is the last day,’ but trust me, ‘the boy’ never likes to be fooled.
To all those reading this article, start talking more to ‘the boy.’ To me depression happens when you stop talking to ‘the boy,’ when you are numbed to all the happenings, when you enclose yourself to just moving with time. This can be the solution to all problems, scaring the innocence of the boy by chaining him with the reality of his presence in a dying human tissue. This is nothing religious but something I believe. I have lost hours talking to him, sometimes it gives answers beyond my experience and common sense. Saying so, I know you have something you want in your life, everything that’s stopping you will stand nothing when you are under the full command of the boy.
We are born complex, going by instinct is not the best command of the boy. But you best believe that as long as you talk to that person in you, you keep watering your inner growth. I know today’s article must be a little here and there but trust me I feel the same too. The voice of the boy is very soft at times, listen to it carefully, it speaks with no lies and filters. If you want to be the best doctor in the world, the boy will speak out for you. If all the external voices from your friends trying to water you with insecurity grows, remember the mantra, “Scare the boy, he is the strongest.” For example, I know how fast you run from your washroom after turning off the lights.
You are a born mystery, born complex, explore it, stop walling yourself and stop making a statue of yourself with the stones thrown by your haters.