I nearly gave up

    02-Feb-2020
Today I will throw something new, different but pure. I wanted to give up and I still do want to give up but this one fear in me keeps scaring me not to give up. Dreams keep dying inside me, but I never fail to keep constructing a new one. I feel that dreams are an idea, an idea where the vibes of its potential make you keep moving. Unapplied constructive ideas are nothing less than a useless idea.
Every morning when I wake up, every-time my alarm wakes me up, emptied basket of promises from the other night garlands me for I forgot what all I promised to do the next morning. When I am so tight up with everything, I rest a little and when I feel weak - I go to bed. This is not an organized article that I am pouring out today, but the beats inside me that’s speaking with different frequencies.
I always wanted to follow my dream but never knew if that’s right until the point I was tired of following the herd for someone who thinks his dream is right. Things that I think are the things for me at times distracts. And when this distraction pops in – with doubt, I start questioning my wants with doubt. Life was never designed in a way I wished for me, but I am now shaping it to make it the way I want. Have you ever felt this way in your life like “you are worthless?” well! For me, a lot of times – even now while I am writing this article. That’s when I close my eyes to take myself back 22 years ago, where I was to where I am now. When I smell growth in my life, when I see myself growing, I regain the lost trust in me. If you ever feel so weak, so down to the level that you start questioning your value – throw yourself back to feel your growth. Then, in the next moment an involuntary beat will be erupted in your heart, “I have come a long way, why the hell should I give up after all these?” Have you ever thought of contemplating suicide? I have - a lot of times before. But the problem was that of the guts to die, guts to take the final decision of life. The real problem lies in the guts, the will to live or the will to die and I was one of the 90% who are grinded in between just to survive. This life is really a “game of try,” a game where you are given unlimited attempts as long as your “WILL” is alive. It's a “never out” game, a game where all you got to do is “never stop.” If you look at this way, life is much easier, “winners are not those who reach the fastest but who never stops.” Life as I see and how you see might be from two different poles but this one will hold true till its last, “Nothing goes wasted in life,” everything is an investment in life like every matter has mass. What all steps you took is making a difference in anything that will happen in the future, in simple word, “be responsible, stop – praying to have a blessed day tomorrow,” if you really are having a great day today, tomorrow will be just another follow up miracle. I have seen and heard people complain that life is unfair, “Yes, it’s true – life only supports the self-servicers not the one who complains life while they are the life.” Life is something I can’t defined but to my knowledge, life is that thing happening inside your body for if you are gone your life will be just a story. If you can agree with me that life is something that’s happening inside your body, try feeling life at times. Life is not you but inside you, so you at times you can lose life – where you know during near death experiences. Embrace that liveliness, stop just breathing to keep the life going, explore what’s inside, explore the hidden talents. That life will be there till your body can hold it, so eat well, sleep well, and never waste time. And lastly, don’t leave this world without trying what you want because the feeling you embrace in failing while trying what you want is the best “inspirational fume.”
(The writer is a Motivational Orator and can be reached at [email protected]; Facebook – Birkarnelzelzit – Young Thoughts; Twitter – Birkarnelzelzit, INSTAGRAM – Birkarnal, watch his videos at his YouTube channel @birkarnelzelzit thiyam.)