Akham Bonbirdhwaja Singh
English society is famous for its etiquettes and manners. These are so detailed and many, I would not blame anybody in failing in “Imitating an English Gentleman” or failing to meet the “Great Expectations” out of a gentleman.So much are involved in the etiquettes and manners, that there are many volumes on the Gentleman’s Book of Etiquettes (and Ladies’ Book of Etiquettes”).I was wondering what would happen to the famed English mannerism with the imposition of social distancing at this time of covid pandemic. The English are very social people, still adhering to the many old values and customs, the Victorian era buildings still seen in many places, the monarchy still in good position.They are very mindful of etiquettes and manners. I am using etiquettes and manners as a phrase, sometimes with similar connotation for the purpose of this article that the difference won’t matter much, because I am including both etiquettes and manners within mannerism.Often, they go hand in hand.
But there are some demarcations though of not very hard and fast, Examples of proper etiquette include how to act in front of a company, how to dress, how to eat, how to address people of different stature, etc. Some examples of good manners include respecting the elders, not talking about someone behind their back, asking for permission before using someone’s item, not speaking rudely, etc. All these concepts have a huge role to play in creating harmony and civilization in society. According to certain dictionaries, etiquette is a set of courteous rules for performing certain actions based on societal norms and values. On the other hand, manners are ways in which an individual behaves as inculcated from a tender age.Manners are for politeness and civility. These types of behaviour are rather general. From childhood onwards children are taught manners by parents and also in schools. This highlights the importance given to good manners within the societal context. As the child grows, he internalizes good manners that then become a part of their behaviour and all come effortlessly and naturally. For example:Saying ‘Thank you’ after receiving something, saying ‘please’ when requesting something, saying ‘sorry’ one you have hurt someone, respecting elders are all manners that are taught to children at a very small age.When matured, these make them stand out.
We find some of the language and cultures strange and there are variations according to different societies and customs though some common similarities are there. Etiquettes are like code of conduct, a sort of rule anywhere. It is, say, how to behave in a particular function or occasion. It is a French word, originally it meant “ticket or label” but later modified to mean “proper behaviour”, It was first adopted in Spain for courtroom ceremonies and documents required for it. It came to English later.According to Merriam Webster, this word was used for the first time in 1737 with the present meaning.
Enough for the etymology; now let me talk how the people of UK have taken the social distancing. In my last article (TSE 22.4.2020), I said something of covid 19 here. Now also, I was compiling the infection and death rate here in UK, very interesting exercise. It is expected that the rate shall “plateau” any time soon and from there it shall be decline. In the meantime, a vaccine is being tested on “humans” and some result is expected soon. Till then, everybody has to keep social distancing, hand sanitization and maintain queue everywhere. The mask, is a bit debated, but latest is that the mask shall be helpful particularly from the “asymptomatic” people who are in our midst. Now, everybody has all the time for shopping, exercise and sanitization. The English weather is so fine, the temperature is mild, you can do running any time, 5 am in the morning or at noon or 8 pm in the evening because it is dark at 8.30 only (sunset time8.10 pm). So, with no restriction in food sale and enough time for exercise, people are keeping themselves very fit, physically and psychologically and hence maintaining a high spirit. In spite of the number of death nearing twenty thousand (by the time this article was written), a hundred frontline health worker dead, there is no panic at all.
Fear is the key, but spirit should not be crushed by panic, once the spirit is crushed, the virus will find easy preys. By now, we all know how the virus works and the means to dodge it, then why should we panic? This spirit here I like very much. They are also grateful to the frontline health workers including doctors, every Thursday, people on the streets, windows, balconies, shops etc. at 8 pm, will clap for the NHS (National Health Service, UK’s health service provider) of course not crowding the roads with “thalis”.
Not only encouraging with claps, the people of London seem to really grateful. The people are donating to provide food and other items free for them to acknowledge the sacrifice they are making, there are special time slots in supermarkets for making their shopping easier, some outlets like Dominos gives at reduced rates because it is tough life for health workers attending such a high number of patients here in UK. Gratefulness is one of the good manners, the way they are expressing gratitude also would mean a lot to the doctors and health workers. There are hoardings and signages which says “Thank you NHS for keeping UK Ticking”. The supermarkets keep separate timings for elders too, it’s not that the elderly people will bring sickness, it is to protect them from the sick, particularly the asymptomatic ones. In fact the lock down for elderly shall last till the fall of autumn here, I pray the vaccine they are testing now comes before that.
The handshakes are gone of course, so also the kissing of cheeks or hands, in place, now wide grins and waving of hands are there. In the parks, you are sure that somebody will wish you first, they know the taste of greeting somebody first. “Good Morning” and the elder oneswould say “How do you do?” or younger lots informally say “What’s up?” The elderlies of course prefer the text book way, still respond “how do you do?” Of course, weather is so fine, still say nice weather. Stranger like me in the parks find plenty of genuine smiles and lots of “good mornings”, even with my chink look and a lot of Sino phobia around. I saw an ad “whether you’re born here or not, if you know to stand on the right, you are a Londoner”.They actually take pride in their mannerism.
In the highway pedestrian crossing, you stand there for a second, all the vehicles will stop for you, no foot bridge is there. I am not talking of zebra cross either. Even if the vehicle is approaching fast, you can cross, it will certainly stop there, and mind you, they will not blow a horn at you. You just turn and wave your hand to thank, the driver also shall wave at you and say “it’saw’right” or “it’s ah’right”, you can read their lips saying that. In other lanes, if you give the vehicle pass, he also wave at you to thank, don’t mind if he can’t hear, but just say “It’s aw’right”.
Being civil is regarded in English society as signs of civilization, I can swear, their civility is of a very high order and have still higher order of civic sense. I am not of the opinion that the etiquettes and manners are of aristocratic origin as George Washington saw it and feudalistic, yes it first started with them because of more social interaction but it was a process of evolution and now most of them are well codified for all.
To be contd