Serious internet jokes & reflections

    29-Aug-2020
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One police officer Whatsapped me saying that now-a-days he doesn't want any reward or award. Then curiously I inquired why ? He replied, " very risky " , anytime the award/reward may be retrieved and even punished for that.Sympathetically responding, I sent an image of a local South Indian liquor brand called "Presidential Medal ". He had a hearty laugh and replied "this is acceptable".
This one is seriously academically beautiful; one lady poetess sent me; actually it is not known whether it is based on a true story or not, but worth reading."Once Ishwarchandra Vidyasagar, Bengali poet  in a lighter vein asked Michael Madhusudhan Dutt, an English poet of great standing “you are a Master in English language, can you make a sentence without using the vowel  'e'? Dutt  wrote -
"I doubt I can. It’s a major part of many many words. Omitting it is as hard as making muffins without flour. It’s as hard as spitting without saliva, napping without a pillow, driving a train without tracks, sailing to Russia without a boat, washing your hands without soap. Finally,what would I gain? An award? A cash bonus? Bragging rights? Why should I strain my brain? It’s not worth it."
One student posted to me - "What is the big deal of having a flag and a Constitution? Manipur had one Constitution in the late forties of the last century and our flag is as old as the first century AD."
 A serious question from a student so,I responded to her saying that though these look  like symbolic things, they carry great historical, cultural and political significance. If you are a student of History or Political Science you may understand it better. Indian Tricolour was hoisted in 1929 and the Constitution was framed in 3 years ( 1946 to 1949).
If "Yu" ( local brew ) is legalized and allowed widespread manufacturing, selling or buying, packaging ,exporting, drinking etc , do you think that more people will become alcoholic and die? Another serious jocular query from a resigned MLA. In response I frankly told him that  health parameters and fatality rate may remain more or less  the same, may even maintain status quo but the only difference will be - many people will become richer and the State shall have more revenue. The delay for such a magnificent venture is due to the mafia running the illegal foreign/local liquor business. Their lobby is too strong that even the prohibitionists are perhaps working with them in tandem.
One very thought provoking post from a  BJP leader reached my mobile indicating that Boss is likely to induct two Ex MLAs as Ministers and he is seriously lobbying for that in and around Delhi Gurgaon Hospitals. I told him "Eigya it is Constitutionally possible, any Tomba, Chaoba or Hongba ( not even an MLA ever) may be inducted in the Council of Ministers for six months  and before the competition of six months he/she must become an MLA ; if unable to get elected as MLA, one must resign as Minister before the completion of six months, say five months and 29 days ; then after two three days he/she may be re-inducted as Minister ". This is Constitutionally possible. "Will it not be fraught to the Constitution ?"- retorted by Eigya. That I don't know. I am just giving my legal opinion.
In front of an Eye Hospital - an advertisement - "If you still want to continue to see beautiful girls even after your death, donate eyes". This is highly obnoxious because it is highly misogynistic. Another post strikes me at midnight from a nocturnal animal quoting an advertisement at a Petrol Pump "No smoking, your life may be worthless but our petrol is costly ".
An IRS lady officer made an inquiry in a common WhatApp group that whether the newly constituted National Recruitment Agency ( NRA) is going to conduct recruitment exams all over the country only in 12 Indian languages? It was a very genuine query. I did not respond and nobody could respond. Her supplementary post was, can anyone tell me what those 12 languages are? Implicit meaning was quite obvious. Whether Manipuri is one of the 12 languages or not? All remained silent. I really wanted to respond like this - "It must be a printing mistake or typo; it should have been 22 languages which are enlisted in the Eighth Schedule of the Constitution. Let's hope the typo/mistake is rectified at the earliest. Otherwise the people speaking and educated in the other 10 languages would be deprived from enjoying equal opportunities for employment ( a funda right ).
A politically motivating image arrived in another WhatApp group projecting a magnificent Ram Temple in Ayodhya, rather an amazing architectural design with the caption "to be completed in two and half years". Innocuously I said it is going to be a huge beautiful structure, enough time must be given  in order to make it a wonder of the world. Reply came , "Yes you are right but in any case before 2024".
The latest arrivals are "An opportunist- a person who starts taking bath when he falls into a pond" and "Experience- it is a beautiful name given to past mistakes".