Chief Ministerial candidates

    30-Oct-2021
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Free Thinker
Who is going to be the Chief Ministerial candidate from BJP ? For Congress, it is almost decided, the most experienced persons may be considered. Regarding MPP , they may  or may not  announce. For NPP, the present Dy.CM would be the convenient choice. Shiv Sena , obviously will choose their State president. NPF may wait and watch . For CPI , CPM & Left , they will work out when the time comes. As far as  Trinamul is concerned, they are rather looking for suitable candidates.  
Arvind will decide for AAP in consultation with the State cadre. For NEIDP, collective decision shall decide. Any Independent Candidate may confidently declare himself or herself as Chief Ministerial candidate.
Some people have approached me to be their Chief Ministerial candidate. I told them, I am not interested in joining politics. I only love to indulge in gossiping, backbiting, criticizing, puncturing and dressing down others, moreover I don’t have any administrative experience or academic qualification. They said , “you are the right person-we don’t need experienced people, we prefer academically weak  and inexperienced people like you. We heard that you maintain third class throughout; but your ability to run down others will certainly help in running the Government.”
They seriously recommended my name to their high command. I was taken to some Marg  near Connaught Place, and taken to a room. One gentleman did namaste; people who took me there were surprised to see the mutual greetings. They tried to introduce me to their boss. He bluntly told them – “no need for any introduction. You people have brought the wrong person, we can’t sacrifice him”.
They became frustrated. Again they forcibly took me to a make shift office attached to a temple. There I was introduced to a man, they say he is number 2 in command; I told them why you are taking me to number two, why not to number one ? Hearing my words the amused number 2 asked them to take me to the top.
Finally they took me to the top man. He had already got the information that I had been abducted to bew inducted as CM . He told them in clear terms that,  “he is the only piece we have for misleading us  from time to time”; politics is only our side business, we cant spare him.
Top man says, our political wing has more members than our Mother Organization. We are more concerned about this non-equilibrium. I took the opportunity to speak-Sir , the membership of your political wing will shrink once they are out of power; but membership of the main organization will remain more or less the same. Because people have recognized your work and benevolent service; power or no power, money or no money your cadre work for the people.  Temporary political power and momentary money power can’t overshadow the essence of your selfless  service.
He was perhaps elated with my reply and started firing a series of questions.
Why do you want to become the CM ?
Sir , I am compelled by my well wishers, they say  that my name will be recorded in history.
Do you know the responsibilities and duties of being the CM ?
Yes Sir, I do, it requires a lot of  announcements, foundation laying, a lot of travels and making speeches.
How  are you going to mobilize the resources of your State ?
Sir, Nirmalaji has known me very well since my student days.
How will you deal with the insurgents ?
Sir, I will take lessons from Assam Mama ji.
How will you finish the hill valley divide ?
Matrimonial alliance -  marrying one another -  between hill and valley people. I shall guarantee State service (job); it is my firm commitment.
What about the Naga issue ?
Sir, talks must continue- I believe in dialogue- it may take decades, let it be, we need a lasting peaceful solution, not a temporary one.
We heard that you don’t have money to contest elections !
That is true Sir, but do I need to contest the election. One Nariman, a Constitutional expert, told us years ago that anyone can become CM  for 6 months without facing any election. Six month is pretty good enough for me. People need jobs, good education, health-care, constant power supply, potable water, modern infrastructure for living, transportation and travel and of course free internet wifi. That I can announce in six months.
Finally, the top man shattered me by asking,
Whom do you want to be the CM ?
Sir, let the elected MLAs (from BJP, Congress, NPP, NPF, LJP etc) come together and decide. Normally we elect the one who commands the majority of MLAs  through a very  fair process of purchase and promises ; anti-defection laws are still there but we can somehow manage till the end of full term - nothing to worry- we have competent lawyers. Our options are wide open for CM – sportspersons, contractors, businessmen, policemen, bureaucrats, lawyers , ex-insurgents, human-rights-activists, fugitives, former-smugglers, teachers, doctors (biological or PhD).
This time we may try someone who can reimburse the entire election expenditure of each 30 MLAs before taking oath as CM in Raj Bhawan - for a relatively clean Government.