The two sides of a window

    12-Dec-2022
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Birkarnelzelzit Thiyam
There are two faces that each one of us has. One that we show to the world and one that we show to ourselves. There is a difference between what people look at- when they look at you and what you look when you stare into that mirror. And the difference is stark. Because for the world you might be a successful businessman or a hardworking doctor or just someone very bright, highly educated and earning handsomely. But, on the inside people struggle with emotional issues, with family problems and so much more which we are totally unaware of.
When we look at the television and look at a video of a beautiful actress- we are awestruck and amazed. However, when she looks at that same video- she would see her fine wrinkles or a peculiar accent that she does not like compared to other people in the industry. And this struggle is ongoing. It’s something common to all of us unless you are super confident and love everything about yourself.    
This face that we put to the world is likeable and at times fake. So many times you feel crying on the inside and on the outside, you are guiding people to perform better. You are so committed to work schedules that you do not have time to look into your eyes and hold yourself. You are so drenched in the game that you don’t have time to see how many players did you lose on the way and how many ‘Yes-men’ have you collected on the way. You are so engrossed in your rut that you forget to take a breath to even see if the person you loved is still by your side or not. And that’s perfectly normal because while winning the game of chess- you have to kill many and sacrifice so many of your own men to get to the end. And is that ambition wrong? There is nothing right or wrong. For people to whom winning is important- the ways and means matter, the people matter, emotions matter but not more than the final goal- victory!
You have to be crazy to achieve something big. Average mindsets only get to a point where they are able to achieve only so much. They are constrained not by the mediocrity of their hard-work or persistence but by the averageness of their mindset to achieve. And this is the story of everyone who started to achieve something. We are caught by fear and 'what ifs' in the journey. Those who own private jets and yachts are either born that way or are excessively hardworking, crazy and mad about success.             Destiny plays a role in this? Yes, it does. What is destiny- it’s our reaction to circumstances. There are opportunities that knock at the door. The time isn’t important but the timing at which they occur is very important. When you meet someone whom you love and in whose eyes you find yourselves- you are lucky. But if you are destined to be with that person throughout your life, it is a shared responsibility of you two. So, when you meet someone accidently- that’s destiny but the time until when you are together is effort.
People wear gemstones and do ceremonies to make the time better or the place pious. But it’s the mind that matters the most. “It’s in the mind that makes heaven of hell and hell of heaven.” This is certainly true. Our struggles are different but our journeys are more or less the same. The question is why do some people achieve extraordinarily? Because they don’t give up. They try one more time before giving up. That’s what differentiates them from average people and makes them a leader in their field of work.
The writer is an International Awardee and also a major in International Business Marketing from Algonquin, Ottawa, Canada. He is also the director of The Oratory Academy, School of Public Speaking, and the founder of International Youth Alliance, based in Canada. He can be reached at [email protected] Watch his motivational videos on YouTube at Live With Bir