Adapting the Right Way
Hello people! If your are sick and tired of getting sad about coronavirus and pollution, here’s recalling something that may just bring a smile.
Even though the genesis of it began from the mail of a helpless (or shall I say hapless) person. I dedicate this article to the helpless guys all over the world.. Hapless and I could’ve said helpless to because of the sheer torture they sometime suffer at the hands of the girls in there lives. The trigger is this mail I got from Nikhil, the excerpts of which I’d like to share here..
‘My girlfriend gets upset @ five times a day that’s is the minimum. I love her and all that, but I feel all my energy just goes in managing her and saying sorry a million times. It’s another thing that mostly, I don’t even know what I am saying sorry for. She sulks endless and does not bother to tell me what has hurt her. Please help and don’t disclose my name.”
Well I so wanted to respect your wish of staying anonymous, but not being able ignore your attempts at jamming my inbox by sending this mail 9 times in the last one week.
I am only adding another letter to your name. So technically, I am not disclosing your identity but secretly hope this does its bit in shooting up your girlfriend’s average.
That said you have my full sympathies for trying to deal with a suck. It is never easy to be with partners or spouses who decide to use the relationship as a platform to unleash negative behavioral traits, tho worst of which is sulking. Also I wonder why people forget the “friend” part the moment they turn into a girlfriend or a boyfriend to someone. You wouldn’t treat your friend with a perpetually long face because you know that’d leave you in an instant. Just because a BF won’t, it does not mean you take him for granted. In my opinion, someone who often gets upset without caring to even tell the reason doesn’t really deserve to be cared for too much anyway. But then Nikhil you clearly are in ‘love and all that’ with the sulking beauty and well. To each his own. Here’s what you could do.
1. Stop apologizing
You are not doing yourself a favour if you are saying sorry to your partner all the time, especially when you don’t know what you are apologizing for always remember that uttering ‘sorry’ without meaning it, is worse than not apologizing at all.
2. Don’t throw tantrums
When ever a person sulks too often, they are essentially trying to manipulate the relationship to make you feel responsible for their emotional immaturity.
Encourage this behavior and you will be digging your own grave. I know a guy whose phrase in life is ‘I am not talking to you’. I saw her do that to him in public and the more he responded with ‘why honey, what have I done,’ the more difficult it was becoming for me to look for places to throw up after this excessive display of mollycoddling.
Until one day I sat him down and told him what she was turning him into. He had to realise that him constantly giving into her tantrums was making her repeat the behavior far too often. Indulging the excesses of a love one is a nice gesture at times but not always.
3. Understand the gender bender
No matter how much we talk about equality in relationship, It is important for both gender to understand the inherent behavioral differences between males and females. Here is how girls psyche works. They want conflicting things and are often unclear about what they are exactly looking for. They like to be pampered but would behave with defiance when you will be at it. In a nutshell, girls are pretty messed up in the head. But these unpredictable emotional swings may just be the endearing things about them –Try and understand that, and you’ll sail through. The idea is not to talk their mood swings personally and let them know that you are around to care if when and in the amount that they would desire that care.
4. Love or Leave
I am not asking you to dump her well actually I am, but only if you are sure that it’s not possible for you to go on being with an ill- behaved adult –child .
Rather than living with the guilt of ending a relationship, give her the choice of ‘LOVE’ or ‘LEAVE’ . Once the charm of a relationship wears off, the negative traits in a person seem all the more stark. Sort your life out, five times a day is a pretty horrifying average…….ha…….ha……ha