Social media versus reality of marriage

Chabungbam Aruna Devi
Decorations, receptions, dresses, parties, food, photographs, etc.—there is no need to advertise your wedding on social media. People are often unaware of the deceptive nature of these posts. Not everything needs to be seen, and not everyone needs to know. A spectacular wedding is not a guarantee for a successful marriage. When you plant that seed, comparison starts growing in your heart. You are doing nothing but harming yourself. You are letting others define your standards for your wedding; don't fall for the fake shows that people display on social media.
Nowadays, people appear more focused on the public performance of a lavish, social media-driven wedding than on the long-term commitment of ma- rriage. Social media fuels the desire for a visually perfect celebration to impress their social circle. To some, the public display of a lavish party becomes more important than the private reality of the relationship. The commercialization of weddings has led to a disproportionate focus on the ceremony rather than the lifelong partnership it is meant to celebrate. It is not the size of the wedding that counts; it's what you do with the marriage that matters.
Marriage is a continuous process filled with joy, boredom, and profound connections. It is not measured by the perfection of a single day but by its resilience, flexibility, and growth over decades into a hopeful, uncertain future. It is behind the scenes, day in and day out. It is the division of household labor and the mutual support during personal crises. It is about compromises, forgiveness, and the relentless choice to continue loving and supporting one another. This process and outcome can be stressful, burdensome, and can lead to dissatisfaction.
People get married because they feel they are in love with their partner or their partner says he/she is in love. Love alone does not make marriage successful and is not the sole foundation of a successful marriage.
Successful marriage is a result of the application of knowledge, not simply the exchange of love. In order to have a strong marriage, one must have information, and that information must be based on truth. One must be well aware of what it means to be a woman or a man, how to live with other human beings, communication skills, how to manage emotions, how to handle anger, understand the dynamics of disagreement, and so on.
A husband and wife are co-labourers, sharing responsibilities, dreams, and aspirations. The role of a husband is not just a title; it’s a calling, a responsibility, and an opportunity to shape the future. A husband should not be the loudest and most authoritative figure. He should be a leader, leading not through power but through service and responsibility. True leadership means a desire to serve rather than to be served.
Indian men are not privileged just because of patriarchy. They are privileged because women, knowingly or unknowingly, silently protect them from the consequences of housework, parenting, growth, and discomfort. Women don't just marry a man; they mother them. The truth is, he can lead a company, fly a plane, or make money, but doesn't know how to boil an egg or milk without asking.
Not because he can't, but because no woman ever made him learn. Women are not just victims of patriarchy, but become its factory workers. Women, isn't it time to ask yourself what your role is as a human being ? As a wife, you are a partner in marriage. You don't have to wear the exhaustion like a badge of honour, thinking that if you are not drowning, you are not doing enough. Even superheroes need rest. Before you get married, fill yourself with all knowledge and wisdom. Make yourself somebody all by yourself. You don’t need anybody to be somebody. This includes financial independence. When you bring that into a marriage, that will be the most essential foundation for an everlasting and successful marriage.
There is no need to announce your big day on social media and feel good about it. Have a strong sense of who you are; know your values, your goals. There is no need for external approval. Don’t chase trends or compare yourself to others. Happiness shouldn’t depend on how people react; it comes from within.
You don't need other people's attention to survive. Post only when something genuinely matters. Judge yourself by your own standards, not others’. You don’t need to be seen to feel seen. The fancy dresses, decorations, and feasts are just icing on the cake that do not impact the substance of the marriage. The excessive display is a social waste keep it as simple as possible.

The writer teaches at Tiny Tots’ Unique School