The Big, Fat, Meitei Weddings Vulgar display of wealth

Vulgar display of wealth, a display that has nothing to do with the core meaning of the event or the day and it is along this line that The Sangai Express has published at least three articles calling for sanity in the last 30 days. On November 14, The Sangai Express carried an article, ‘The unseen cost of being a bridesmaid : Beyond the raniphee  and rituals.’ The article came at the right moment when the need to articulate the sane was acutely felt, especially in the face of the crass commodification of everything on any given occasion. Not so long back, meaning before Manipur went up in flames in the evening of May 3, 2023, it was the crude and at times ‘ugly’ extent to what some people went to distort the meaning of Ningol Chakkouba and reduce it to a day of giving in to the baser instinct, wherein the real essence of the day was drowned out in the ‘crude’ race to see who brings back the most expensive gift from one’s natal home ! One can still remember some of the extremely meaningful short films that were made and telecast on the television on this day to drive home the message that Ningol Chakkouba is not a day of organising a ‘gift competition.’ Manipur has progressed, certainly, but there is a reason why many of the old timers, especially those who grew up in the 70s and 80s wistfully recall the days when the day meant coming to one’s natal home in the rickshaw and it was with a reason why the day also meant a day of handsome earnings for the rickshaw drivers ! Time impacts everything and Ningol Chakkouba is no exception, but there are certain things which should stand the test of time and that is the essence for which the day is set aside every year. Coming back to the write up carried in this newspaper on November 14, the writer, a young lady herself, expressed what everyone has long felt and it should serve as an eye opener to the other side of the Big, Fat Meitei Weddings. It is a nuptial, a pact between two individuals and their families and it absolutely makes no sense to reduce this day to an occasion to be one up on Chaoba or Tomba or Hongba. It would make so much more sense to utilise the money to be expended on the glitterings to something more productive, with an eye on the future, for getting married means having children, planning for their future etc and financial planning is what ultimately matters in the long run. Society needs to take a deep breath, step back, take a look at the reality and see what may be done to ensure that a special day like Wedding or Ningol Chakkouba is not reduced to a day of crass materialism, a day far removed from the essence of what these days actually stand for.
It was along this line that The Sangai Express carried yet another article, written by a young woman on November 25, wherein the need to put a stop on ‘advertising’ everything to do with one’s wedding was sounded. Obsession with ‘public performance of a lavish, social media driven wedding than on the long term commitment of marriage,’ is a particular line of observation that stood out in the said article and such an input is a reflection of the madness that is regularly being uploaded on the social media. As the article pointed out, it is the long term commitment of marriage, what it entails that should take precedence over the what it said is ‘commercialisation of weddings, that has led to a disproportionate focus on the ceremony than the lifelong partnership it is meant to celebrate.’ Pearls of wisdom in this observation and the call to focus on the ‘lifelong partnership’ as a principle and a belief is something which should not be allowed to be blown away by the din of extravagance, which will not last more than a day or two or three. Not clear whether such write ups will have any impact on the thought patterns of the people, especially the youngsters, but the fact that such articles have been submitted and published should reflect on the reality of society, particularly the Meitei society. As a retired, a decorated police officer, an IPS to boot, pointed out in a recent article, ‘The young and educated must understand the far reaching consequences of societies getting intoxicated with the habit of spending needlessly...while organising social functions in the families, particularly marriages.’