Report card : Don’t let a piece of paper define your child’s future

Chabungbam Aruna Devi
Parenting is an incredible journey into the unknown. It is unpredictable, and if we aren’t aware of the pitfalls, both parents and children suffer—and the relationship suffers with them. The truth is, nobody truly knows the "best" way to parent; we are all learning as we go.
Traditional parenting often makes parents feel they must always be right, maintaining supreme control and dictating every decision. We raise our children with massive expectations. When those expectations don't match a child's performance, a clash occurs. Parents often misinterpret this as disrespect, leading to unhealthy judgments. Children are frequently not allowed to express their feelings; we suppress their voices, believing we are simply helping them fit into society.
Instead of trying to mold children into exactly who we want them to be, we need to understand what they actually need from us.
From kindergarten, parents obsess over who is first or second. Why is it so important that your child is "ahead" of someone else ? Every child has unique qualities. No human is an all-around genius, and poor grades do not make a child a failure. Grades are not the only measure of success or worth.
Children aren't just anxious about their grades; they are anxious about their parents' reactions. Overreacting and yelling creates fear and insecurity, which often leads to children hiding their grades in the future. The immense pressure to perform has a documented negative effect on children's mental health. When a parent bases a child’s worth on a report card, it destroys their self-esteem especially when they are compared to siblings or peers.
Instead of punishing or demotivating them, we must stay calm. A bad grade is not the end of the world. Use it as a learning opportunity for both academic and life skills.
Accept your child for who they are. It is our duty to be resilient, helpful, and to guide them in a healthy way. Stop worrying about what neighbors, teachers, or other adults think of your "competence" as a parent. Focus on the solution, not the excuses.
When parents and teachers consistently support and believe in a child even in moments of failure the child internalizes the message that they are capable and valued. It teaches them that mistakes are opportunities for growth, not proof of inadequacy.
By offering empathy during distress and celebrating progress rather than just results, we show them unconditional love. Nurture what naturally comes to them and value their uniqueness. We cannot ignore a child's inner self and then hold them responsible when they struggle later in life.